a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im having a threesome with these popsicles
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
