so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
