you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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