so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
