Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
