Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
