Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
