Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
