Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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