They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
