im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
