Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
