She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You are the jesus of drinking
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
