Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
