Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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