Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
