remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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