Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
