Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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