So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
