if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
