Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
smell my finger.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
