the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
