Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
