I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
