Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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