How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
