Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
