Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
