He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
