drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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