Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
