If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
