Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
