Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize