Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
