let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
