Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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