you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize
