Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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