why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
