My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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