it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
