I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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