she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
