And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize