girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
