before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize