OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
