so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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