My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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