Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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