Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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