Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
