Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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