I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
