Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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