we made out on top of his cat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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