Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
