my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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